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WHAT WE DO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic Violence
Services for victims of domestic violence include crisis therapy, legal referral, and referrals to shelters and emergency housing. Family Service League has treated and supported many victims of domestic violence, both through the Family Counseling Program and through the Rape Care Center. We offer expertise in domestic violence counseling, and established, respected referral sources. The agency also provides ongoing therapy services to help perpetrators begin the process of assessing, understanding and finally controlling their anger.
Family Violence
What is Family Violence?
Family violence is any act of aggression directed by one family member toward another in an effort to coerce or control the sufferer’s behavior. The forms of this misconduct include but are not limited to: physical, sexual, emotional and verbal abuse, child neglect, intimate partner violence, and elder abuse. The dynamics which frequently predicate family violence are fear and oppression. An abuser uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear down and gain complete power over their family member. [1]
Although statistics on family violence are imprecise, it's clear that millions of children, women and even men are abused physically by family members and other intimates. Family violence exists equally in every socioeconomic group, regardless of race or culture. Alcohol is not involved in all cases of family violence; however it is involved in a large percentage of them; and is particularly common in the more violent incidents.
New Jersey’s latest crime data indicates that family violence is prevalent across the state: 73,749 incidents of family violence were documented in 2006, with approximately one third of those cases involving children. Sadly, family violence is often cloaked by silence and is vastly under-reported; the actual number of family violence cases is estimated to exceed 222,000. Statistics confirm that these crimes occur in every North Essex municipality, including such communities as Montclair, Glen Ridge, Bloomfield, Verona and the Caldwells.
Family violence often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence and even murder. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. [2]
There is no reason why anyone should experience this kind of pain. If you or someone you know is suffering from family violence, your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.[3]
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most significant sign is fear of your partner. Other signs include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions in the table below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship. [4]
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you:
- feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
- avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
- feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
- believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
- feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
- humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
- treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
- ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
- blame you for his / her own abusive behavior?
- see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
- What We Are Doing About Family Violence
At Family Service League, our services for sufferers of family violence include crisis therapy, legal referrals, and referrals to shelters and emergency housing. Family Service League has treated and supported many sufferers of family violence, both through our Family Counseling Program and our Rape Care Center. We offer expertise in family violence counseling, and established, respected referral sources.
Using a time-tested approach to therapy known as Family Therapy, our counseling staff help clients identify and use the emotional resources for healing that are available in their immediate and extended families. The emphasis is placed on seeing families as a whole so that the healing resources of the family can be actualized. The ultimate goal of our therapeutic efforts is to have people experience emotionally intimate relationships that are both safe and nurturing.
Clients may be seen a few times over a period of weeks or many times over a period of years. Our clinicians are committed to working with clients and their families for as long as necessary. One of the clinicians is bilingual in order to be able to serve clients who speak Spanish, a growing population in our service area.
If you or someone you know is suffering in an abusive or violent situation please call us immediately at 877-733-2273 or 973-746-0800 to schedule a free or subsidized private and confidential appointment with one of our clinicians. Under no circumstances will you be required to file a police report or testify in court if you do not want to.
Recidivism and Anger Management
Our first and foremost priorities at the agency are the immediate safety and long-term mental and physical recovery of anyone who has suffered as a result of family violence. However, we also believe that by taking a proactive approach to this insidious crisis we can reduce recidivism and finally begin to break the destructive cycle of family violence which is often repeated by perpetrators and also learned by children who witness the abuse while growing up and eventually often perpetuate the behavior into another generation.
Pursuant toward this goal, we have developed a successful anger management program by providing therapy services to help perpetrators begin the process of assessing, understanding and finally controlling their anger. Through this process we are able to help perpetrators address the source of their abusive tendencies so that they can overcome them, and cease their harmful behavior.
Alliances
We have recently received a generous grant from the Mountainside Health Foundation creating a new partnership in Essex County to combat the devastating effects of this crisis and improve the fabric of our shared community. We deeply appreciate the Mountainside Health Foundation’s kind and generous support which is being used to fund the Recovery From Family Violence Project.
This grant is being used to establish a 24-hour hotline, referrals for therapeutic counseling, and to provide extensive training to first responders, such as medical staff and law enforcement officials. The hotline is an extension of the Essex County Rape Care Center hotline, also operated by FSL, whereby trained advocates assist callers by assessing their needs and serving as a gateway to resources such as health care, safe housing and legal aid. Free and unlimited professional therapy is also available to promote healing and reduce risk of future abuse. The hotline number is 877-733-2273.
In an effort to develop cooperative relationships with our neighboring community organizations we are synergizing our talents with local community development centers Focus411 and La Casa De Don Pedro located in Newark, NJ. These alliances will improve our capacity to both receive and offer referral services and to share our resources with one another. With this opportunity for increased networking we also anticipate increasing our visibility to members of our community who will benefit from our services.
Please visit Focus411 and La Casa De Don Pedro below:
http://www.focus411.org/
http://www.lacasanwk.org/contact/contactus.html
Further Information Regarding Family Violence
http://www.helpguide.org/
http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/
http://www.da.usda.gov/shmd/aware.htm
http://www.nacoa.org/famviol.htm
“The Foundation is pleased to partner with Family Service League in this valuable outreach project, which responds to a vital, timely health priority.” Pam Scott, Chief Foundation Officer, Mountainside Health Foundation
[1] Alyce LaViolette Domestic Violence Power and Family Systems Therapy 2003
[2] http://www.helpguide.org/
[3] http://www.helpguide.org/
[4] http://www.helpguide.org/